DIJA'S SECOND ACT

Dear Lorenzo, On Monday, 12/04/23 at 12:42 p.m., I sent Chele the following text message:  "So, you down with my plan of us getting out there and dating this Spring?" She responded four minutes later, which, as you know, is an immediate response for Chele. "How did this become an US thing? I fully support a YOU thing!" I laughed before putting my phone down. While I knew Chele had no interest or intention of joining my dating pact, it would be hilarious getting to regale her with what was certain to be some pretty ridiculous stories. I'd decided to be more open minded this time around. Slightly younger men? Sure. Since I'm not looking for anything serious who cares? And dating outside of my race might be on the table for the same reason. (I usually have a strict "No white guys who didn't go to Cambridge Rindge and Latin" policy). No relationships this time around. Just keeping it light and fun. And then at 4:25 p.m... Cap called.

I don't know how to write about the thing I need to write about most. I'm losing my mother. And it HURTS. I feel so broken and... Empty Without her. My mother has Alzheimer's disease and can no longer care for herself. My mother no longer calls me at random intervals throughout the day to ask if I'm watching Jeopardy or My 600 Pound Life.  My mother can no longer login to Facebook to stare at images of her granddaughters and post how much she misses them. My mother doesn't always recognize my sister and I as her daughters. Alzheimer's is unbelievably, heartbreakingly cruel. Instead of being able to cherish the last years of her life with her, I've spent the last few years in constant dread of my mother's increasingly angry and accusatory phone calls.  We were keeping things from her, stealing from her, not calling to check on her enough. Though I devoted the majority of my waking hours either thinking of or directly caring for her in some form or fashion...