DIJA'S SECOND ACT

Dear Lorenzo, It's Monday, 9:31 p.m. and I'm just finishing up a late dinner of Amy's No-Chicken Noodle soup, eight Wheat Thins and half an ounce of cheese. (Not exactly fine dining, I know, but since I don't often eat dinner, this is still an improvement.) While some parts of my life have markedly changed (new job, newfound ability to go outside in clothes that didn't once belong to you) others remain the same. I wake up every morning at around 6:00 a.m. and turn on the TV to catch the weather, before eventually making my way to the dining room to work out. By the time I get on the elliptical at 7:00 a.m., the TV is on and the channel has been changed to ESPN, where it will remain for the entirety of my workday.  This habit started out of necessity. Until the day you died it never actually occurred to me that you might not be coming home from the rehab facility. And so, even though the DVR was still recording all of your daily sports shows, I began watching them i...

Dear Lorenzo, It's Sunday, June 6th, 8:51 a.m. and I'm sitting at the dining room table, listening to Tank and talking to you.  I'm starting to be able to envision a life for myself that doesn't include being your partner anymore. A life that doesn't revolve around anyone except for Amira, our family and friends, our home and... my future. I know that one day I'll start dating again but I also know that I'll never commit to anyone else the way I once committed myself to you.  This is not the grief talking but the reality of who I am. I prefer being single. There, I said it. Hell, I'd been saying this to anyone who would listen for the past, oh I don't know, EVER now but...now that I've done the whole, living-with-someone-I-love-and having-to compromise-every-fucking-detail-of-who-I am-as-a-person thing...I think I'll just ride this whole single status out.  In the end, we weren't happy together. I wasn't the person you wanted me to ...