Confessions Part Deux

 "I wish I'd met you one year and one fuckboy from now." I told Captain America in a phone call we had this afternoon. (He's fine as hell but super sweet and ridiculously, old-school polite; much like my favorite of all the Avengers, Captain America.) 

"WHAT!?" He laughed nonplussed. "What did you just say?"

"I said 'I wish I'd met you one year and one fuckboy from now!' " I repeated, a bit indignantly.

"Okay, you have to explain that to me."

I took a deep breath before beginning the conversation I'd realized only hours before that we needed to have. "You've come back into my life, in this way, just as I'm starting to bounce back from the worst tragedy I've ever experienced. And God forbid, but I might be entering another 'worst tragedy I've ever experienced' phase pretty soon so I am going to FUCK THIS UP COMPLETELY, I already know that. That's why I wanted the next guy I got involved with to be a fuckboy, more specifically a MUTE fuck boy; don't even call me brotha, just text when you want me to come through." He erupted with laughter at this but I wasn't deterred. "If at any time I get to be too much for you, which I totally anticipate happening, do NOT be afraid to tell me that. We've been friends for too long to let anything fuck that up, okay?" I finished decidedly, satisfied that I'd made an irrefutable argument against myself. But it's only fair. The man has the right to know what he's potentially-but-probably-no-longer-willing to get himself into.

"I hear you. I really do. And while the idea of you with a fuckboy is fucking HILARIOUS...I understand what you're saying. And I appreciate you for saying it. And...I got you. I got you."

"Good."

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