Strength, Courage and Wisdom

Dear Lorenzo,

It's 11:33 p.m. and I just finished my dinner (a slice of cinnamon toast with two teaspoons of peanut butter).

I'm exhausted.

These days, I am ALWAYS exhausted.

My weekdays begin at 6:00 a.m. 

I wake up and head straight to the kitchen to clean up the mess that Amira invariably leaves behind each and every time that she offers to clean up. I wipe off counters, throw away old food and wash a sink full of dishes before getting on the elliptical no later than 7:15 a.m. I workout and login to my computer at 8:00 a.m. to begin my 8 hour workday with Typenex. At 8:30 a.m. my alarm goes off, reminding me to wake Amira for school. At 11:30 a.m. I take the dog for a 30 minute walk, rush home, hop in the shower, make lunch and am back to work on the computer by 12:30 p.m. I work for exactly 3 1/2 more hours before logging off at 4:00 on the dot. I take the dog for her second walk, come home, figure out dinner for Amira and Butters, play with the dog for a half hour, help Amira with her homework if necessary, before falling into an exhausted heap on my bed by around 7:30 every night.

I am EXHAUSTED.

But happy.

The other day I saw a dear friend for the first time in a while. As we got caught up on each other's lives, my girlfriend began to tell me about her friend's impending divorce. As we contemplated the future of her soon to be single girlfriend, I began to sympathize with this stranger's plight.

"In a way I know how she feels." I began. "Having to start over is no joke. This shit is hard as hell." 

"Yeah but she's not like you." My girlfriend began. "You're strong and you're a go getter so I knew you'd be okay."   

I'm strong. 

Lorenzo, I went from having you take care of me financially, to working full time and supporting our daughter on my own. 

I make mistakes but I'm strong and I'm a go-getter.

Amira and I are going to be okay.

God willing, I'll make sure of it.

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