All Apologies

Dear Lorenzo,

Despite my best efforts (and believe me, I really, REALLY tried) I've finally come to realize that mere memories of you (memories of us) just aren't enough for me anymore.

Three years after your death...I'm ready to love and be loved again.

This does NOT mean I'm going to start looking for a man.

I have ZERO interest in dating, or "getting back out there" in the hopes that I'll meet someone.

I'm 44 years old and EXHAUSTED.

As you know, I'm in bed every night by like 7:00 p.m. so unless the man of my dreams is hiding under my mattress, the chances of me bumping into him are slim to non fucking existent and that's fine.

But...

A couple of years ago Michele introduced me to Marco Polo, a video chatting app. Once downloaded the app searches your contacts for existing Marco Polo users and I guess that's how this all began. I found an old friend on Marco Polo and we started video chatting once in a while. Before long, we were talking every day and while we truly are JUST FRIENDS, the communication made me realize something.

I've MISSED having someone to share my day with.

I've missed having an adult male around who cares about me.

I don't know if that makes me a bad person or not but...it's how I feel.

Lorenzo I've loved you for the past decade, and I love you still but...

I think I may be ready to start moving on.

And I'm sorry, Babe.

I really, really tried.


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